RESCUER SYNDROME

INTRODUCTION

Rescuer syndrome—or otherwise referred to with various other alternative terms such as saviour complex, white knight syndrome or hero syndrome—is a psychological behaviour pattern where an individual experiences an overwhelming, compulsive need to rescue or fix the problems of those around them.

Of course, words like ‘saviour’, ‘white knight’, and ‘hero’ almost instantly remind us of the paragons of virtue who have been exalted across history for over 4,000 years.

Today, the entertainment industry is ultimately being carried forward with the same ideas. Be it movies, comics or novels, fascinating individuals like Superman, Batman, Captain America, Knights in shining armours rescuing damsels in distress, and many others, with either superhuman abilities or immense, selfless altruism for humankind have been illustriously celebrated for decades. But the said ‘heroes’ most of us grow up watching and learning about are almost always altruistic individuals. 

But altruism is not to be confused with rescuer syndrome. 

Altruism is the unselfish concern for the welfare of others and often involves offering to help someone in need without expecting any reward, recognition, or personal gain in return. Actions done for the sake of one's spiritual peace 

In the following verses of Surah Al-Insan (Man), Allah Azzawajal describes one such character of the above-mentioned altruistic individuals, giving us an insightful example.

7 They ˹are those who˺ fulfil ˹their˺ vows and fear a Day of sweeping horror,

8 and give food—despite their desire for it—to the poor, the orphan, and the captive,

9 ˹saying to themselves,˺ “We feed you only for the sake of Allah, seeking neither reward nor thanks from you.

10 We fear from our Lord a horribly distressful Day.”

But the ‘rescuers’ of interest in this case are quite different. 

It is an unhealthy, toxic psychological pattern which affects an individual's overall well-being to a serious extent with the potential to affect the lives of those around them as well.

Rescuer Syndrome was first conceptualized by Psychiatrist Dr. Stephen Karpman in 1986 using The Karpman Drama Triangle to outline toxic relationship transactions. 

THE KARPMAN DRAMA TRIANGLE

The Karpman Drama Triangle is a model which outlines three, habitual, destructive roles that people subconsciously tend to play during conflicts. 

The three roles are as follows: The Victim, The Prosecutor, The Rescuer.

1. The Victim in Dr. Stephen Karpman’s model presents that the victim does not represent an actual victim. It is someone who feels and acts like a stereotypical victim. Someone who is headstrong on proving that they committed no fault. The individual would feel or act helpless, oppressed, and hopeless. 
2. The Prosecutor is the villain of the said drama. The one who attacks the Victim, blaming the cornered individual with faults. Prosecutors are often controlling, oppressive, angry and feel superior, refusing to back down.
3. The Rescuer, as mentioned above in the Rescuer Syndrome, according to the ‘Karpman Drama Triangle’ is someone who feels the guilty need to resolve the dispute between the Victim and the Prosecutor, simply to quench their own internal longings. For example, to receive validation from the Victim and spectators, or perhaps to strengthen their dwindling self esteem and be viewed as someone trusted. In simple words, to be viewed as a hero of some sorts.  

Rescuer Syndrome and the role of the Rescuer is not always portrayed in times of dispute alone. It could be completely uncalled for and appear in the most common, most unsuspecting places in existence. Rescuers tend to offer help to those around them even when their assistance is irrelevant and could sooner or later, lead to an irreversibly negative outcome that could affect their own lives and the lives of those involved. 

Rescuer Syndrome is not officially considered as a mental illness. Professionals view it as a coping mechanism that has grown on a certain individual. But its symptoms are many and may seem subtle throughout the day-to-day life of a person coping with the struggle. It may nudge them a little bit there and a little bit here, unsuspecting, almost inconsequential but inevitably destructive in the absolute long-run if not identified and dealt with.

CAUSES OF RESCUER SYNDROME

Root causes of Rescuer Syndrome can be embedded into an individual from early childhood itself, for, in most cases, it is a learned coping mechanism. Most Rescuers are empathetic human beings who fail to express their compassion the right way.

For an example, let us take a certain Person A and a few scenarios to break this down.

SCENARIO 1.

Person A can be the eldest sibling amongst three children with parent figures who aren't always physically or emotionally available due to work. Perhaps, since early childhood Person A spent most of their own life being posed as the eldest sibling, the bigger person, the caretaker even though they were a child themselves just like their siblings. Person A could either have had these views forced upon them by their parents or they could have simply grown onto the idea of being the rescuer, considering how from the earliest stages of their lives, their younger siblings would turn to them for assistance in matters that required an adult’s assistance.

SCENARIO 2.

Person A could have stumbled across a traumatic experience in the past where they could have failed to rescue or save someone dear to them and the guilt of that specific failure could put a mental toll on them to either save or rescue others as a way to absolve their past failures and regrets, hoping to find some sense of solace or redemption. 

SCENARIO 3.

Person A could simply have inherited the trait in this case. They could have grown up in an environment where either both parents or one parent was grappling with Rescuer Syndrome. Person A could have grown up watching them display the same behavioral and emotional symptoms and simply have established it as the natural way of life and grown up into an adult with the same destructive values. 

SYMPTOMS OF RESCUER SYNDROME

Symptoms of Rescuer Syndrome may seem trivial to the immediate eye at first. Almost annoying, almost frustrating to those around Person A. 

Person A could persistently offer unsolicited help or advice to another person in a crisis even if they were never asked or even if they were rejected initially. Person A would have the unbecoming habit of overstepping boundaries, squirming into places that do not welcome them and personally have no sense of boundaries at all amongst their social circle. 

They would be constantly looking for vulnerable individuals and attract similar individuals to have a sense of self worth. 

Person A would also find it immensely difficult—feel anxious and guilty— to say ‘NO’ and reject requests for aid even though there is nothing that they can do within their power to be of help. 

The above mentioned impulsive symptoms can ultimately single out Person A from social circles and make them unlikable among peers due to their impulsive behaviour. And this can in turn lead to severe cases of anxiety, depression and burnout, ruining Person A whole.

For some, the above mentioned symptoms can feel very familiar and close to home. Even though not every single symptom is bared open, something simple as being unable to reject a request for help can be as tiring as crossing the seven seas in a rundown boat for most individuals.

OVERCOMING RESCUER SYNDROME

Even though it is no easy task to overcome the hold of a toxic, learned way of life, one must do everything within their power to break free from its hold for their own well-being and the well-being of those around them. 

Peers and those around individuals who might be coping with Rescuer Syndrome should also be well-informed and patient, offering guidance to the individual and helping them overcome the malady one step at a time.

Medical treatments for Rescuer Syndrome is available in the form of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Trauma-Informed Therapy where Medical Professionals can aid patients to figure out the root cause for their struggle and then offer fitting treatment and therapy which can help replace the destructive behavioural patterns with favourable ones and hope for a better life ahead.

Individuals can learn to prioritize self-care and self-worth over all else, after all one can only be of actual help to those in need when they are steady and firm in their own mind. Learning to set firm boundaries, not cross boundaries and knowing to reject requests when necessary could be the first few steps towards healing.

SAHIH MUSLIM: The Book of Zakat (Hadith 997 a)

Jabir reported:

A person from the Banu 'Udhra set a slave free after his death. This news reached the Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon hhn). Upon this he said: Have you any property besides it? He said: No. Upon this he said: Who would buy (this slave) from me? Nulaim b. Abdullah bought it for eight hundred dirhams and (this amount was) brought to the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) who returned it to him (the owner), and then said: Start with your own self and spend it on yourself, and if anything is left, it should be spent on your family, and if anything is left (after meeting the needs of the family) it should be spent on relatives, and if anything is left from the family, it should be spent like this, like this. And he was saying: In front of you, on your right and on your left. 

REFERENCE:

Source: Clinica Hope https://share.google/cCMowt0Uh4YmThT11

Source: NoweWidoki https://share.google/It3TSg3nuSPodeVJ3

Karpman drama triangle - Wikipedia https://share.google/NMm0UQ53BtoVPgRSR

Sahih Muslim 997a - The Book of Zakat - كتاب الزكاة - Sunnah.com - Sayings and Teachings of Prophet Muhammad (صلى الله عليه و سلم) https://share.google/09tbVp75tfEDADTVv